It’s Different For Girls or Why The World Cup Makes Men Go Crazy

It’s moments away…the tension around the globe is building…flags are being waved…things are getting to a fever pitch. Who am I kidding, I don’t really care about the World Cup. Sure I’ll watch a couple of games, I might get a bit carried away in the moment as everyone in the pub surges forward to cheer but then I’ll buy Vogue on my way home and the balance of my world will be restored.

But, for a lot of the men in our lives, things are different. Very different. Let’s take a look at just how different. The key to understanding your fella’s reaction to the World Cup, or in fact, any sport they’re into is testosterone. Long before birth, this particular hormone is shaping and honing the male brain, in fact, it’s actually killing off the female parts of the brain so that this bouncing baby boy will be born ready to grow up into a man who seeks out gorgeous girls…and penalty shoot outs.

Researchers have found that leading up to a competition; men’s brains become flooded with testosterone.  This is the same whether they are competing or simply watching.  The testosterone gives them that sense of excited anticipation, but it also gives them a belief that their team cannot lose, whether it’s England or Arsenal. That probably sounds familiar to lots of women out there!  Given that the human brain has evolved over millions of years, it’s easy to see why such excitement and confidence could give men an advantage.  Going to hunt or war is going to be more successful if fuelled by excitement and self-confidence.

Now, here’s something strange. Researchers have also found that if they, or their team, should win, their testosterone levels fly through the roof.  This is a natural high, not dissimilar to cocaine, and it’s addictive.  The natural high these elevated levels of testosterone give them makes them behave with a cockiness and self assuredness that can drive women bonkers (sometimes good bonkers, sometimes bad bonkers, I reckon!).

We have a testosterone rush with sport too, but with only about 10% of the testosterone of what men get, even the keenest of us isn’t going to view the World Cup in the same way as her football mad boyfriend.  So as a result, it’s unlikely we’ll ever “get it” to same extent that men do.

We’ve all seen (or been subjected to, depending on how you feel about it) this sort of behaviour at the pub.  The excitement and confidence make the menfolk wear silly hats and face paint and they bond with their fellow fans while bellowing football chants.  It’s basically the modern equivalent of hunting the wild boar.  If the team win … happy days …testosterone soars and they party on the high.

But what if they lose?  The final whistle is blown, the mood goes flat.  The game is over.  All hope has gone.  They’ve lost.  You might watch your boyfriend silently finish his drink and mooch off home feeling despondent, often for days at a time.  It is as if his emotional world has just collapsed.

Why is this?  Well researchers have found that if their team looses, testosterone levels also collapse.  As a result, the fuel for the natural high dries up, making your bloke sullen and unresponsive.  They experience a mild depression and self doubt. They can even lose interest in sex.  This is, literally, a hormonal crisis for men.  A sort of male PMT.

What can you do if/when this happens? Give your boy some space. Don’t pressure him into talking about it. A lot of what’s going on for him is neurochemical, like it is for us when we have PMT and over the next few days balance will be restored. Let him go to his metaphorical shed and try to remember this important point – it’s not about you!

Tamarisk is the founder of Two Chairs Counselling in London Bridge. Two Chairs Counselling specialises in working with career-orientated women whose lives look great on paper, but suck in real life.

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