How Showing Up In Your Life Effects Everything You Do

My Dad is on my newsletter mailing list. As well he should be, frankly! Anyway, the last one that went out had the expression “showing up in your life” in it. My dad emailed me to say how much he loves that phrase and we got into an interesting discussion about what that means to both of us.

Here’s what it means to my Dad: “If my life were a movie, then I am the star of the film. I think I should give an Oscar winning performance.

“Showing up, to me, means “being present”. In other words whatever we do, we should be 100% focused and involved in what we are doing, or who we are with, or where we happen to be. What a waste for your body to be in one place and your mind somewhere else…neither half of you would be getting any benefit.

“Sometimes we might not be where we want to be, but we always have a choice of how we respond and choose to act. This is how you show up.

“I have learned through a combination of experience and doing a lot of work on myself that living like this pays huge dividends. Most of all my relationships with my loved ones, friends and colleagues have blossomed. I sense it in the way they respond to me and in what they say. I feel so much more engaged with the world, more spontaeneous and more relaxed. Go on – show up in your life!”

Personally, I think he’s captured it perfectly.

I’m reading a brilliant book at the moment called Fierce Conversations and the author uses a brilliant phrase that sharpens what, for me, showing up means – be here, prepared to be nowhere else.

When you show up – in conversations, at family dinners, out on a date with your boy or hanging out with your friends you give them and yourself the greatest compliment – the purity of your attention.

You know when you’re showing up because colours become vivid, you’re really seeing, really looking. Food tastes better. Why? Because you’re present in the moment, actually experiencing what it is you’re eating instead of mindlessly stuffing it in while thinking about what movie to see later, or how you need to clear out your wardrobe and sell some stuff on ebay.

When you show up, fully present in your conversations, people DO sense it. I believe my Dad is totally right on that one. Both you and they feel honoured and respected because you are giving them the purity of your attention. It’s an incredible experience and it can feel a little scary to begin with. We’re not used to it. We’re much more used to checking out in our lives…imagining other things, planning stuff to do…we’re physically present but our minds have galloped off to someplace else.

Experiment with bringing your thoughts and your attention back to your conversations this week and see what happens. I’d love to know what happens, so do post in the comments.

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