Are You Making This Stupid Mistake I Made?
18 Aug
Right now I’m on holiday. There’s a clever scheduling thing on this blog which means I can write posts ahead of time and post them later. By the time you read this I will have watched the air stewardess do her pointy-pointy thing to highlight the exits and the floor lights, how to put a life vest on and what to do when the cabin pressure drops.
When the cabin pressure drops, they always tell you to attend to yourself first and then your child or a neighbour who needs help. I’ve always listened to that and thought – “No way, dude. I ain’t going out like that. I’m a helper! I’d mask up my neighbour before myself EVERY TIME!”
Well, guess what. I’m stupid.
There. I said it. The reason they ask you to do this is because you can’t help anyone else if you haven’t helped yourself first. They say this in any kind of lifesaving training. I did rescue training at the pool when I was a kid because I was strong swimmer and they didn’t have much else to teach me (when growing up in Hong Kong is a bonus…!).
Again the first thing they tell you is to assess the situation. If there is any danger that you’ll die or get broken in some way in a rescue attempt, they just tell you to flat out not do it and get more help instead.
How does this apply to you?
If you’re not taking care of yourself first, your relationships between you and everyone else in your life will suffer.
The more confident you feel in your own skin, the more confidence will just radiate from you. The more you attend to your emotional needs, the more energy you’ll have in your relationships with others.
I’ve said this elsewhere on the blog but your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
There are 5 areas I’d love for you to bring your attention to:
1. Physical Care – Care for yourself physically by exercising on a regular basis, eating healthy foods, and limiting the unhealthy foods. Physical care doesn’t simply mean eat healthy and working-out, it also means taking time for you physically. For example, spend extra attention on your own beauty regime however simple or elaborate it is, more effort on your hair, spritz on some luscious perfume, floss, get more sleep, get a pedicure (you now officially have my permission!). The more you care for yourself, the more you’ll hold yourself in a confident manner.
2. Mentally – Often you use your brain solely for work and by the end of the day you feel totally brain-dead. It is vital to take time to decompress and relax your mind. Feed your mind with something mentally stimulating that gets your mind excited. Read a good book, learn about a new topic, or educate yourself about a topic that you have wanted to learn about. The more mentally satisfied you are, the more it impacts the way you can relate with others. Click here for a Brain Workout!
3. Emotionally – Take time to emotionally improve your mood. The more stressed and overwhelmed you are, the harder it is for the people in your life to connect with you. Your mood can automatically drive a wedge in between you and a significant other. Take time to decompress your emotions, regulate your mood, and slow down your reactions. Your JOB is to regulate your mood. If your emotions aren’t regulated, then your partner isn’t able to see that you are safe to connect with. Calm your nerves, decompress, and let out your steam in a productive manner.
4. Spiritually – Feed your soul with your spirituality….and this doesn’t necessarily mean “religious.” Find a way to include your spirituality by meditations or connecting with mother-nature.
5. Relationally – Relationships all need nurturing, not just your relationship with your partner, but your relationships with all the significant people in your life. Nurture your heart by improving your relationships with your children, friends, and family. Make sure that you have a balance in your relationships, yet setting healthy boundaries.
Check Life Optimizer’s similar take on this post – Five Areas of Your Life You Should Balance To Live the Fullest Life
A big step towards this is learning how to say “No” so that your no actually means no. Check out my video on How To Say No. And Mean It.
No comments yet